I was sick all weekend and took a lot of naps. Mister Black was faithful to keep me company. At one point I noticed Mister B sleeping in this most delicious pose, his fatness sunk deep into the quilt. I wanted to get my camera but I was too sick to move, so I memorized the shapes and forms and the feeling. It was dark in my bedroom but sunshiney outside my window. The light sneaking in thru the yellow curtains was catching on objects here and there trying to cheer me up. When I began to feel better I sketched out the scene and here it is painted to the best of my memory.
Harry was watching the Jackson Pollock movie tonight and between painting I'd go in and watch a bit. There is this one part where Pollock is just beginning to do his drip paintings and Lee says, "Jackson, you've cracked it wide open." Well I think that is a swell scene but Harry made fun of it. Harry says Lee just egged Jackson on & he only did a few good paintings in his life. The only thing he really is famous for is being the first American modern artist, rather than European, to finally be accepted in New York. Big Whoop. Harry says Jackson was not the first one to make art flat, the orientals, the Egyptians, & the Greeks did it thousands of years before.
So I was painting and Harry walks up behind me and says, "Dear! You've cracked it wide open!" A bit later he sneaks up to the outside of the office/studio window and says, "Dear! You've cracked it wide open!"
But I learn so much from Harry. I will miss him when he has to go back to GA. He really fuels my painting in spite of the cracking wide open comments. One thing he said and so non-confrontationally, too, was, "What are you doing about flatness and modeling? Which way do you think you will go with this painting?" And I realized that there were areas that were modeled and other areas that were flat and it made the painting look like I was just bad at modeling, either that or had no clue. Had no clue, I think. Haha. But thanks to Harry's hint, I noticed the inconsistency and am working on it. I am trying to tune into what makes me model things, because that is what seems to be messing the paintings up.
Another time Harry was watching me paint and I asked him if he was dying to jump in and do it right. And he said, "Heck no. Why would I want to torture myself?" I said, "Is the painting THAT bad?" He said, "No not at all, painting is just torture for me. That is why Van Gogh committed suicide. It is so hard to get it right & you never can get it right." [Go to Harry's video where you can hear his actual voice saying this: www.harryally.com ...big whoop?]
Me: "So why do you do it?"
Harry: "Compulsion. I am just driven to paint but it is hell. But you, you enjoy painting. You are SO HAPPY. I don't get it."
Me: "Haha. I don't get it either."
I have sort of been tortured about something, but really torture is way too strong a word. Concerned, maybe. I worry that my paintings are silly or shallow. Harry to the rescue again. [Sheesh, too bad he can't rescue his own self.] He brought up the pattern and decoration movement again. He said it was about being feminine, the home, comfort, repose. It was a "happy movement" and made fun of by some but considered most valid by others. Well that is certainly what I am all about. And as I have said before, when I am concerned about others validating me, I am wasting my time. I only have one life to spend and I need to spend it being happy doing and saying whatever I am capable of to the best of my ability. If all I can do is all I can do, quit fretting and get going. [Harry, are you listening?]
Ok here it is.
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detail shots:
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